Exercise - My Biggest Challenge

**WARNING**

This is a big long post of me mostly rambling and complaining about how hard it is for me to workout. Read at your own risk.

Exercise is the hardest part of getting healthy for me. All of it is hard, but exercise is the most difficult. I really struggle with finding the time, motivating myself to get it done, and keeping up with it consistently.

I LOVE the way I feel after I've worked out! AFTER. Not before. Not during. Just after. I do not love exercise. But I know it's good for me and I know that I need it to achieve my goals. Because, you see, I don't just want to be skinny. I want to be toned and healthy. I want to have increased energy. I want to be active. And losing weight isn't going to get me there. It will help. It's part of it. But it isn't enough.

So exercise is becoming my priority this week. Yep. The week of Christmas. When I'm crazy busy with finishing up shopping and wrapping and cooking and activities. Because if I can't get to it when life is crazy I know I just won't get to it when things are "normal".

#1

There are several factors that making working out a challenge for me. First and foremost is SLEEP. I heart sleep. More than almost anything in the world. I always have. Growing up, my alarm would go off and I'd hit the snooze button. My dad would come downstairs to find me with a glass of water. He would threaten to pour it on me if I didn't get up. And a lot of the time, he followed through on that threat. A lot. So I would get up and immediately get in the shower. I would go to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the steamy hot water, climb in, and lay down and go back to sleep in the bath tub with the shower water spraying on me. Heaven. Until my dad came down banging on my door. :) I was late for 99% of high school. I just wanted to sleep!

Right now, my beloved sleep is very, very compromised. I am not at all in control over when I go to sleep, how many times I wake up during the night, or what time I get up in the morning. I get to go to sleep AFTER I get all three kids to sleep. Which wasn't until eleven last night. (I put them to bed at eight. Grrrrrrr.) Lucas then decided to wake frequently last night. Wouldn't trade that boy for the world, but MAN would I love a long stretch of sleep! And then of course I had to get up this morning to get Payson off to school.

That said, I could be better. Sometimes I stay up late after the kids go to bed just to savor the child-free quiet. When I should just tuck myself in and take advantage of sleep. Or I fall asleep on the couch in front of the tv. Again, sleeping in my own bed would provide a much better night of rest. And I really should start to sleep train Lucas. It's just so hard to think of letting him cry. First of all, it just breaks my heart into pieces! And second, he'll wake up the others. Which will be a nightmare. But if I just do it, it will only last a few days (hopefully) and then I'd possibly get a better night of rest.

Anyway, sleep is a challenge. One that I am committed to working on starting tonight. I will put myself to bed, in my bed, at a decent time. And Lucas will sleep in his bed. Not in mine. And hopefully that will make a little difference. Although I will still be up at night to feed him. And who knows if the others will throw fits like last night.

#2

Enough about sleep. It frustrates me to think about it. My second challenge with exercise is time. Making time. Finding time. Using my time wisely.

I know myself well enough to know that if the workout isn't done first thing in the morning, it's not going to happen. Because I sweat. Like a mad woman. My face drips like crazy! People who see me working out are always concerned that I'm going to pass out or have a stroke or something. I'm not. I'm fine. I just sweat a lot. It's genetic. The whole fam is face sweaters. And if I workout, I'm going to have to shower. And if I'm going to have to shower, I'm going to have to take the time to do my hair and get ready. And my hair is high-maintenance. I wish it wasn't. Because I'm really a pretty low-maintenance kind of girl. But my hair doesn't understand that.

So if I work out, I have to get ready. Which cuts into my time in the day to get things done. And lets face it, there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done. Especially when I'm husband-less and have to do it all by myself.

Then of course there's the baby. Sometimes he is needy. He's actually a very low-maintenance baby. But he tends to want something when I want me-time. And there's feeding him. Which is really time consuming and energy-sapping.

And then there's the part where I can do better. Using my time wisely. If I would get off the computer or turn off the tv a little more often, I would get a lot more done. It's true. I used to be really good about not watching tv. Lately I haven't been so good. I need to work on that. And I need to leave the computer for evenings, AFTER the important things get done.

#3

And last workout challenge is motivation. Just getting off my butt and doing it. And that comes down to commitment, really. How badly do I want it? Because I say I want to workout. But do I want to workout MORE than I want to not workout? Obviously, the answer to that in the past has been no. I would rather NOT workout and do other things than push myself and get the workouts in and enjoy the benefits.

And that is why I'm making a commitment now. It has to be a priority. Even if that means I sacrifice something else that is important.

Right now, I am absolutely not willing to sacrifice my sleep. I tried. It didn't work. It made me stressed and tired and grumpy and it made me hate working out, when I already dislike exercise enough.

So with my 3 challenging factors, I can work on two of them. I can work on my commitment level. And I can work on how I use my time. It might mean that I'm not showered and ready for the day until 2 in the afternoon. It might mean that my house is only cleaned when Jason is home to help me. It might mean that other activities get pushed aside. But this is just for now. I will not always be up at night with a baby. I will not always be breastfeeding. Life will change over time and I'll be able to adjust the routine.

In the mean time, I will be making workouts a priority. I will start slow. I will make sure that I'm eating enough. I will sleep when I need sleep. But I will also make sure that I get a workout in. Because if I don't make it a priority now, it's never going to happen.